she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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