the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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