I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
