You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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