I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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