Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
