She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
