Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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