i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
