He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
