i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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