With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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