I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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