You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
