This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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