cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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