Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
