So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
