I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
only you would photoshop your dick
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
did you just send me my own nude
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
