apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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