Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
