Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
