check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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