you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
