My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
