I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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