This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
