am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
