Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
