Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
