I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
