she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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