He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
