well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
