that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize