it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
