D3 body, D1 cock
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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