New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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