Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
