There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
