You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
