So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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