yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Send help, water and tortillas.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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