Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
