i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
