Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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