Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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