oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
