I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
