Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
smell my finger.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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