Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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