I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
