Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
