i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
