i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize