I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
