But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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