Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
