I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
