Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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