You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
