How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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