is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
