It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
